Know Who Your Friends Are.....

One of the things that really dampens my spirit is to know what kind of a person a friend truly is. Trust is one thing that I don't give easily but once I entrust it a to another, it is supposed to be for life. To have that treasured trust thrown carelessly back at your face is something I can NEVER EVER forgive and forget. I can present a civil and polite mask to that person but, deep inside, that trust would never be given again. No more heart-to-heart talks. No more glimpse of the real me. No more trust.

Letting Go

How can I let go of something I've believed for so long?
Is it possible for my heart to sing another song?
Will there be a happily ever after for me?
Can I allow myself to dream again?

I have been so used to having you by my side
We've been through a lot, the ups and the downs
But the ways things are right now between us
Maybe, it's time to let you go and let myself free

This is not easy now and will never be
You've been a big part of me
But reality is telling us it's time
You have your life and I have mine

Letting you go will break my heart into pieces
Letting me go will bring me back
I have to understand the pain for me to bring back
Who I am and who I must be

The choice is made by the circumstance
My choice is made by fate
It's time to let go
It's time for us to go

It's Not Always You But....

Again, I really do believe I need to consult a psychotherapist. Not because I'm having a psychotic attack (or whatever it's called) but because I don't seem to know myself. For almost all my life, I have always been castigating myself whenever bad things happen to me or to people around me. I always automatically put the blame on myself. Yeah, quite unbelievable, isn't it? But, I always carry the burden, not wholeheartedly, but it appears that I just think I cause the pain. Why? I don't know!!!

Brat

I'm having a "bratty" moment..... I let go of my resolution to be a good and just show this person how annoyed I am with her. Hopefully, the facial expression and the almost shouting tone of my voice are enough to make her feel just how I am "amused" with her.... Hopefully, I won't have to articulate what I am feeling because if I have to... I can very well say the words she wouldn't want to hear EVER in her entire life!

Tomorrow

For the longest time, I've been harping and nagging myself (and majority of the people I can to talk to! hehehehe) that I need a vacation BAD and FAST. I think I have a very ugly case of burnt-out and I so desperately need to be anywhere BUT HERE! Well, finally, I'll be getting what I have been wishing for... The sun will definitely come out TOMORROW!!!

Should I or should I not

I really, really, really like to do something but there are factors that somehow make me a bit hesitant...

Whoa!!!!

Oh boy! Oh boy! And I actually believe that I have the authority on being paranoid!!!! Goodness!!!! I must say, I'm a bit shocked!!! There's a person more paranoid than I am!!!!! Unbelievable!!!!!

Just because she saw me talking with her immediate superior, she thought we were, how would you put, gossiping on her absence from work the other day. DUH!?!? I didn't even bother to ask why she wasn't around that day and, now, she really believed I'm interested?!? AGAIN, DUH?!?

Funny really how people think so much of only themselves!!!!!

But from what I know of her, she's not that bad of a person. Maybe she has been hearing things.... and, come to think of it, I really don't care because when she believed those lies, what's the point of maintaining a friendship. Pointless, useless, meaningless....

WHATEVER!!!!

I really try to be a good person... HONEST!!! but, it's so d*** frustrating because my sincerity was always misconstrued, misinterpreted, and mistaken to be another thing. Ok! So, I have this folly of putting my foot in my mouth... Hey! It's not as if I have the major stake on that. DO NAME ME A PERSON WHO SAYS ALL THE RIGHT THINGS EVERYTIME! Seriously, people, stop being hypocrites!!! You people can lambast others with such delicious glee and I can't even say anything negative at all!!! DUH!!! Worst of all, I can't even call a person, Ma'am?!? Because that person read it as me wanting to be called Ma'am in return?!? DUH!?! ARE YOU PEOPLE OUT OF YOUR PUNY MINDS?

I really try to chalk up all these things as your typical workplace intrigues. I guess, they really are but somehow your immature antics just irritate the hell out of me. I just don't get it why you people operate on envy with such gusto. There are times that I SO WANT TO CREATE AN INTRICATE WEB FOR YOU PEOPLE TO FALL but, don't worry, I WON'T STOOP TO YOUR DEGRADING LEVEL. I may have a short fuse of a temper but I wont' waste it on you. Gossip all you want. Insult all you want. Malign all you want. I may show cracks once in a while but I won't break down. So, when the time comes all of these things backfire on you, there will be a hint of smirk and muffled "Loser!"