Here I Go Again.....

Just when I was about to make THE final decision, I get second thoughts.... What's wrong with me? Can't I let go or am I'm just plain scared? I think I'm going with the scared option.

Friday Fun: The Music Edition

They say that music can bring out powerful emotions or memories in a person. I know that can be very true for me!

1. What are 5 songs that will forevermore remind you of high school?
~borderline by madonna
~manic monday by the bangles
~to love again by sharon cuneta
~growing up by gary valenciano
~farewell by raymond lauchengco

2. Do you have “a song” with that special someone? What is it and how did it become “your” song?
~save the best for last by vanessa williams (for obvious reasons! hehehehehe)

3. Is there a song out there that just seems to speak to you?
~love me for what i am by the carpenters

4. What song just gets you moving and makes you happy?
~together forever by rick astley

5. What is your favorite genre of music?
~80's!!!!!

She said, She said

One thing's for sure! It's definitely weird to find yourself used as a listening post by the very same person who gave you the cold shoulder and, i'd rather not believed it but my instinct told me otherwise, talked a lot behind my back.

I'm not saying that I don't talk about other people behind their backs.... Hello! Everybody does but I try to follow a family rule that we should avoid, as much as possible, to speak out when it's a negative thought. Why? Because there is absolutely no way we can take back the words once they came out of our mouths. Words are more hurtful than physical blows, believe me!

Anyway, I could call it karma but I'd rather spare her the painful process that I had to go through with her indifference and outright ignorance of my existence for, i think, couple of months or more. I could really laugh at her situation right now and, justifiably, say, now what you know what you've been through but what's the use. I won't feel right about it. I know, I'm a soft-hearted pushover of the worst kind. I can never bear to see anybody who I had considered to be my friend to be so bothered and troubled. Call me stupid but that's how I am as a person.

But, my sympathy and empathy aside, one thing is absolutely clear for me. I don't think it's possible for me to REALLY trust her with my innermost thoughts. Trivial stuff is easy but to open myself again? I don't think that will happen for a very long time to come.

First Step...

I have to make a decision tonight whether I will go to work tomorrow or not....

I Said, You Said, They Said

I used to be so affected with other people's perception towards me. I even had a dream before that my face has pore openings bigger that rose flowers and according to a friend who's into dream stuff, it meant that I am so concerned with how other people think.

I'm not sure if I had just learned to accept it, or somehow I reached a stable maturity level or the bitch in me just plain got tired and wanted to hit back. hehehehehe

Don't get me wrong, I am still affected especially when I honestly believed that I'm the wronged party. At the same time, I have mastered the art of smirking.... hehehehehe I'm not really sure how others see my smirk, but for me, I felt a whole lot better (especially with myself), whenever I turned on my smirk mode. I don't give so much weight anymore with what you said or they said, as long as I know what I said.

Manic Monday

"It's six o'clock already and I'm just in a middle of a dream...."

I'm not sure if it's just psychological or something but I find it incredibly hard to get my motor running on Monday mornings.

To Judge or Not To Judge

Before anything else, I ADMIT! I'm guilty of being judgmental and actually NOT PROUD OF IT. I could always point the blame to my upbringing. I mean, everybody around me, has always something to say (unfortunately, most of the time, it's on the negative side of sphere) about everything. I can easily say that I picked up that bad habit. But, I know, that I am (more than!) old enough to be responsible for my actions instead of blaming everything and everything except moi!

Anyway, for some reason, I have always been annoyed by an acquaintance. Anything he says or does irritates the heck out of me, regardless if its good or bad. Maybe, we're on the opposite side of the moon or maybe we're too alike that we clash. OH NO! DON'T GET THE WRONG IDEA, PLEASE! Before you can utter, Oh YEAH, OPPOSITES ATTRACT, that will never do unless anybody out there would wish me incarcerated for bloody murder!

Going back to what I am supposed to be writing, this guy has been judging a lot of things lately, mostly personal decisions of other people whom I'm not sure if he even knew them personally at all. I'm not saying that I don't put labels on people, all I'm saying that I don't dare to proclaim my verdict on any issue, especially when it's too controversial for my own good. Why hand over the hammer that others would so love to whack my head with? Besides, the people concerned won't give a damn on my opinions anyway. They strongly believe what they do is right so how would anything I say can make a difference? Likewise, I also believe that I am right so....

We're no longer little kids being smothered with fairy tales, fables and parental control. We have lived (hopefully, we do!) out lives for almost half of the century. Assuming we did, shouldn't our view of life be not confined with what should be but be widened as to accommodate things beyond the realm of our comfort zone?

I think life would be a lot peaceful if we just respect other people. Instead of loudly judging other people, why shouldn't we just give them the personal space they're entitled to. We don't have the right to judge their actions that we may believe could be right or wrong. We're not perfect. We make mistakes. Everybody else does. Let's leave at that.