see you soon.....

You were the definition of a friend. No pretensions. No airs. With you, growing up became tolerable. Problems became bearable. Adulthood... I would like to believe we were getting by....

Misunderstood. Misinterpreted. Misconstrued. Judged. That’s who and how you were most of the time. Why? Maybe because people gave more credence to purported first impressions. Maybe because people would rather look with their eyes and listen with their ears instead of making the effort to know you with their hearts. Maybe, just because.... Ironically though, you were the one who continually reminding me not to be judgmental...

More than half of my life, you were always here for me... to knock some sensibility to my obstinacy... to point the difference between red and crimson... to cheer me up when I’m feeling down... and to just banter about the most mundane of topics...

 Oh, we’re not perfect. You had your flaws and so do I. There were days when you’d prefer your own company and so did I. But when one of us called out, the other would be there instantaneously.

And now.... change is inevitable.... this so-called change that is constant.... this so called change that I fear the most...

Nothing can ever prepare us for this. Not a thing can ever do. No one will ever be.

I lost a friend three years ago, and, now, I lost another one....

My faith is telling me that everything happens according to God’s plan and one day we will know that plan. But, I am still asking the questions...

I know there is really no choice but to accept. Accept the reality. Accept the change. Accept.

You had quite a journey, my friend. It was worth your every while and I was fortunate to be a part of it somehow.

Thank you and see you soon.

reflection

For the life of me, I really couldn't understand you. I'm not perfect, you know that, they know that and I KNOW THAT. Then again, SO DO YOU. Why don't you look at yourself on the mirror, I MEAN REALLY LOOK AT YOURSELF. You see all my faults, you have a lot of opinions about me and yes, you do everything right. BUT MY DEAR, DO YOU HONESTLY BELIEVE THAT YOU'RE PERFECT?!? DO YOU HONESTLY BELIEVE THAT EVERYBODY LOVES AND ADORES YOU?!? DO YOU HONESTLY BELIEVE THAT YOU CAN DO NO WRONG?!? At the risk of permanently bursting your balloon.... ah.... eh..... NOBODY'S PERFECT AND THAT INCLUDES YOU. You keep on harping negative things about me... NO, I WON'T DIGNIFY YOUR ACTIONS WITH ANSWERING BACK... I WILL BE JUST PERFECT IF I DO THAT... BUT, ONE LAST REQUEST AS A FRIEND, LOOK AT THE MIRROR CAREFULLY AND CLOSELY.... LOOK AT IT AND LOOK AT YOURSELF... PLEASE!!!!!

沒有咖啡的日子 他們說常常喝咖啡會讓我失眠，心情會一點不平衡， 也許會難過。 可是對我來說， 反應是完全相反的。 如果我不喝咖啡， 我才會失眠， 心情會一些不對勁， 覺得很難過。 尤其是你離開那一天開始。。。。

BOOM!!!!

I promised myself that I won't do it anymore. I promised myself I won't give in and allow my temper to get the better of me. I promised myself I'll be good. Then.... boom!!!!! You did it again!!!! For some reason (totally unknown to me), you just grate my nerves. I guess, this is one of those instances that we rub each the VERY wrong way. I have to admit, you're not exactly a bad person and, trust me, neither am I a good person but, we just don't like each other. We just tolerate each other but there are times that our mutual tolerance levels are at its lowest of low. I am getting tired of sparring with you mentally. I am getting tired of being on my best guard whenever you're around. I am getting tired of you PERIOD.

I'm not really how I come across to others, my image, I mean... I'm not sure if people see as a serious person. I'm not sure... But it you ask how I see myself, I don't have a clue. Maybe I'm still in the process of knowing myself. I'm still in the process of actually de-cluttering the 40 + years of mess... hehehehe Whenever I'm in a pensive mood and stare myself at the mirror, my reflection shows a person who tries so hard to please everybody that she ended up hurting herself more. I see a person who never thought highly of herself. I see a person who doesn't believe in her own abilities. Pathetic, am I not?

Back to One

Nope, this is not going to be an entry about mushy romance stuff.... This is about me ready to start anew... going back to one.... Okay.... lots of things to think about.... lots of things to plan.... lots of things are about to change....

ohohoho

Ohohohoho!!!! I was not exactly myself today and that was what made me go "ohohohoho!" Maybe I should've done this a long time ago.... Let people see the other side of me or should I say, the real me? ohohohohoho!