tupperware party

in as much as i don't want admit, yeah, i'm a part of a BIG TUPPERWARE PARTY! nope, it has nothing to do with a direct selling thing. it's all about people pretending to be all smiles but feeling totally otherwise deep inside

user friendly

i don't see anything with being user friendly (realistically speaking...) provided it's a mutual thing.

change

i'm not sure if this is for the best or otherwise but i don't think i can go back.... much has been said and done.... nothing left to do but to face the consequence whatever and whenever it will be....

baaaaddddd.....

in as much as i want to deny, i know that i have a very bad side... i can be very mean and sneaky if i want to... but i do try to curb the enthusiasm sometime.... hahahah

moving on.....

i believe i am beginning to learn how to play game.... i used to literally cry over stuff that i laugh at now.... maybe i have finally understood the rules of the game.... or i just gotten smart for a change... hahahahaha

沒有咖啡的日子

他們說常常喝咖啡會讓我失眠，心情會一點不平衡， 也許會難過。 可是對我來說， 反應是完全相反的。 如果我不喝咖啡， 我才會失眠， 心情會一些不對勁， 覺得很難過。 尤其是你離開那一天開始。。。。

to... or not to....

should i or should i not? do i have to or don't i have to? to buy or not to buy? to change or not to change? to get or not to get?

all of these questions.... over a mobile phone! hahahahaha

you uncomplete me

it's almost seven months already... i should be getting on and moving on... still, little things remind me oh so vividly that i will never be complete... i'm still lost... i'm still not ok...

will i ever be ok? can i ever be ok after losing my best friend? i don't think there's another one like him in this lifetime... he listens to me without prejudice although he's never selfish with his advices...

will i ever find myself again? i seriously doubt it... i forever lost my rock... he's the only person who can make me stop ranting, raving and basically can shut me up with a look...

yadda.... yadda.... yadda....

i admit there are times (yes, they are many and not few!) that I complain, about life, specific things or in general... i still do, actually, but i am trying to not give in ... i am really trying to not say anything out loud lest i can labeled again...

going back, i find it ironic that the very people who complain because i complain are actually complaining now. i so want to shout, you were complaining what?!? but why would i do that...

if only i can tell them, look at the mirror and i bet you, you won't like what you see because i don't like it, too...

stupid is... stupid me?!?

oooops! i did it again!!!!!

needless to say, i had, some may call, a perfect display of stupidity. it was the most, if not, definitely one of the most, embarrasing moment of my life. the only reason, i can think of, is i hate numbers. i hate them so much that my brain went to auto-shut down. but i have to overcome this, lest....

all those ....ness....

i have never felt this useless and helpless in my life!!!!! i need to do something FAST less i lose myself as well....

to talk or not to talk....

when is the right time to talk and when is the right time not to talk? when is the right time to tell the truth and when is right time to lie? when is the right time to be firm and when is the right time to be, uh, nice? then again, what is the definition of "right time?" does it even exist?

OMG!!!! i cried during the last scenes of the movie, armageddon!!!!! why? i simply miss my dad....

...i have sinned.....

forgive me, Lord, I have sinned....

for some reason, it's never easy for me to accept change, no matter how trivial it may be.... i just irritates, annoys, and irks me... why?!? i don't know... maybe it's a childhood trauma thing or something....

i know, i should love my neighbors as i love myself... uh.... hardest much!!!! still, i do try, promise! but....

perception

for some reason, i don't feel the same way as before when people have misperceptions about me. yes, it still feels bad but i don't get THAT affected anymore. somehow, i have learned to shrug it off and just focus on what i should do. (although i must say that i have to re-focus my focus but that would be another entry! hehehe)

karma

is there really karma? i mean, does it really work? do people got "punished" for doing bad things? are good people blessed? i don't know....

maybe, i'm too cynical but i don't think karma works that way, well, in my world that is... good people usually don't get the honor they merited and bad people, well, they don't, most of the time, get what they deserve...

ok, i'm feeling guilty because i did something totally juvenile today... oh well, whatever...