She said, She said

One thing's for sure! It's definitely weird to find yourself used as a listening post by the very same person who gave you the cold shoulder and, i'd rather not believed it but my instinct told me otherwise, talked a lot behind my back.

I'm not saying that I don't talk about other people behind their backs.... Hello! Everybody does but I try to follow a family rule that we should avoid, as much as possible, to speak out when it's a negative thought. Why? Because there is absolutely no way we can take back the words once they came out of our mouths. Words are more hurtful than physical blows, believe me!

Anyway, I could call it karma but I'd rather spare her the painful process that I had to go through with her indifference and outright ignorance of my existence for, i think, couple of months or more. I could really laugh at her situation right now and, justifiably, say, now what you know what you've been through but what's the use. I won't feel right about it. I know, I'm a soft-hearted pushover of the worst kind. I can never bear to see anybody who I had considered to be my friend to be so bothered and troubled. Call me stupid but that's how I am as a person.

But, my sympathy and empathy aside, one thing is absolutely clear for me. I don't think it's possible for me to REALLY trust her with my innermost thoughts. Trivial stuff is easy but to open myself again? I don't think that will happen for a very long time to come.