Oh Boy! Oh Boy!

Oh boy! Oh boy! I just allowed my temper to get the better of me today!!! First thing in the morning at that!!!!

I'm not sure if SOMEBODY UP THERE is testing my patience and, by golly gee, I failed big time today! Maybe it's the irritation of actually going out of the house half an hour earlier than usual and arrived at work 10 minutes LATE! Maybe it's the deep-rooted irritation towards a person who's still acting immaturely when you're in a hurry to accomplish a task. Maybe it's the irritation of being amassed with work that's not part of your job description. Maybe it's the irritation of having to control my temper when I just want to explode!

sunday afternoon

I had what I call a lazy day. I woke up very late (well, compared to my usual time, trust me when I SAY VERY LATE) and just let the minutes ticked by with nary a thought or worry. Can I call it a stress-free day? Well, not exactly, because when I'm in an idle mode, I'm prone to think and that's dangerous to my mental health. I tend to go to analyzing the what have beens and what should have beens. I know that I should be grateful with what life has blessed me and I really do appreciate everything but somehow when I look at the people and things happening around me, make me wonder about what if I did that or what if I chose that... the works!

Mid Year Resolution

I finally decided to resolve this thingy that has been bugging me.....


I know I already sound like a broken CD but I resolved to acquire a pachydermal approach. Instead of racking my brains on where did I do wrong, I'd rather spend my time enjoying my life. Thank you very much!

?

For the past couple of days, people have been chastisizing me on how I manage my finances. Why did I have to take a vacation when I should have saved the money instead? There's no need to buy a new phone.... Why do I always joke about asking for money?

Ok, I know that money is very important. But, in the truest sense of its relevance, can money really buy what we really want? I'm not justifying my expenses but I am just about this close in shouting SHUT UP ALREADY! I did not ask for any vacation funds nor did I beg for my phone.

Ok, I get the picture on saving for rainy days. I may not have the 7 figures bank balance or what have you, but I am very much aware of that.

I just wish that these people instead of criticizing my every actions, they should look at themselves and maybe, just maybe, they could stifle the urge to crash the mirror into smithereens.

Know Who Your Friends Are.....

One of the things that really dampens my spirit is to know what kind of a person a friend truly is. Trust is one thing that I don't give easily but once I entrust it a to another, it is supposed to be for life. To have that treasured trust thrown carelessly back at your face is something I can NEVER EVER forgive and forget. I can present a civil and polite mask to that person but, deep inside, that trust would never be given again. No more heart-to-heart talks. No more glimpse of the real me. No more trust.

Letting Go

How can I let go of something I've believed for so long?
Is it possible for my heart to sing another song?
Will there be a happily ever after for me?
Can I allow myself to dream again?

I have been so used to having you by my side
We've been through a lot, the ups and the downs
But the ways things are right now between us
Maybe, it's time to let you go and let myself free

This is not easy now and will never be
You've been a big part of me
But reality is telling us it's time
You have your life and I have mine

Letting you go will break my heart into pieces
Letting me go will bring me back
I have to understand the pain for me to bring back
Who I am and who I must be

The choice is made by the circumstance
My choice is made by fate
It's time to let go
It's time for us to go

It's Not Always You But....

Again, I really do believe I need to consult a psychotherapist. Not because I'm having a psychotic attack (or whatever it's called) but because I don't seem to know myself. For almost all my life, I have always been castigating myself whenever bad things happen to me or to people around me. I always automatically put the blame on myself. Yeah, quite unbelievable, isn't it? But, I always carry the burden, not wholeheartedly, but it appears that I just think I cause the pain. Why? I don't know!!!

Brat

I'm having a "bratty" moment..... I let go of my resolution to be a good and just show this person how annoyed I am with her. Hopefully, the facial expression and the almost shouting tone of my voice are enough to make her feel just how I am "amused" with her.... Hopefully, I won't have to articulate what I am feeling because if I have to... I can very well say the words she wouldn't want to hear EVER in her entire life!