Forgiveness

I always follow the credo Forgive and Forget although I have my own twist to it. I forgive easily (trust me, I really do) but I never forget. Why? Because I believe that I should not forget the lessons learned (and boy! there were TOO many lessons I have learned and, yeah, unlearned). I don't want to go through the hurt, especially of being betrayed by people you considered to be your friends, you thought who actually know you enough to give the benefit of the doubt before judging. Well, that's reality for me and it sure bites DEEPLY AND PAINFULLY.

There was an incident (I can't even remember the exactly when) where I was harshly (as I believed to be) judged. People immediately labeled me with all the imaginable and unimaginable negative tags. It did make me feel bad because I felt so helpless. There was nothing I can do because I was caught in a "damn if you do, damn if you don't" situation. Although I did vent out my anger (TO THE PERSON CONCERNED, YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE, AND BY THE WAY, YOU STILL HAVEN'T APOLOGIZED!), but I was still the bad person. So, i decided to keep silent and I was silent (well, except to a few friends...). Anyway, after all of these years, they still see me as the bad person. Lesson I have learned? Whatever makes you happy people, feel free. I won't stand in the way of your happiness because true judgment comes from HIM not from you.

Lately, I've been feeling down. Why? A person who I thought to be a new friend turned out to be a new frenemy.... Sigh.... Maybe it's me... Maybel I've done something to her... Maybe it's something I've said.... Maybe she's just "using" me.... Or maybe I need to see things and HER in a different LIGHT.... Lesson I have learned? Everybody is doing things to their own advantage. No matter how nice and helpful they are, at the end of the day, IT'S ALL ABOUT THEM! So I should learn not to trust easily and keep a large part of it to myself.

Forgiveness? Yeah, I have forgiven them. Forget? I will try... REALLY try....