Day Nineteen

I never learned.... Why do I never learned....

Day Eighteen

So far, so good......

Day Seventeen

IT'S UNFAIR! IT'S UNFAIR!!! 

Day Sixteen

Hmmmm....... What is there to say?  Peaceful and calm... Lull before the storm?  Don't want to think that way.... I'm thinking, maturity is finally settling in.. slowly.... This would be a veerrryyyy loooonnnngggg and sssssllllooooowwww process, but with God's grace, we will get there. I claim it!!!!

Day Fifteen

hmmm.... interesting day....... curioser actually.... i'll call it my offset day.....

Day Fourteen

Finally, a slightly stress-free day..... one regular moroccan mint tea latte and stimulating conversation... wish there would be more of this kind of day....

sunday

Missing the short talks and long talks about everything and anything above the stars, under the sun and beneath the sea.... Thank you lots, friend.....

Day Thirteen

You didn't appreciate it when I was being nice to you.  You didn't appreciate my kindness.  Now I have to do what I should be doing then.  I will do what is right and I don't need to be nice. 

Day Twelve

I don't need to change into the person you want me to be in order to become a better person.  I don't need to listen to you in order to do good.  I only need to live my life the way God wants me to be.  That's all I need to do... You don't have any hold on me because at the end of the day, it's all between God and me.

Day Eleven

In fairness, it was a pleasant surprise... No questions, I will just savor the moment....

Day Ten

Always remember to love yourself.... Don't expect everybody or anybody to make allowances for you.... You have to learn how to look out for yourself... Nobody would do it for you even those who said they're willing to do so....

Day Nine

Inhale.... exhale...... ok, here we go..... one baby step at a time.... inhale... exhale....

Day Eight

Okkkaaayyyy...... here we go again..... erase the negative thoughts please.... don't want to dwell on them.... too exhausting for my own good..... 

Day Seven

1-hour Swedish Massage.... Goodbye Stress for now.....

Day Six

No matter how you tried to be nice, people will still have something bad to say about you...

Day Five

This is really getting harder by the day.....

Happiness.....

Day Four

How to speak out when your tongue is tied?
How to move around when your feet are tied?
How to do things when your hands are tied?

it's a small world after all......

Day Three

I would like to apologize if you didn't like my answer to your question....

Day Two

hayssttt...... It's so hard to be good.....

Day One

Ok, this is the first day of my "new" life.... interesting, really....

did i think only of happy thoughts today?  I believe so... although there were short lapses.. still, I believe I managed to cast them out before they rule me AGAIN!

did i decompose today?  uhmm... i think there was a moment when I was starting to decompose but I believe I managed to compose myself AGAIN!

did i cherish my true friends?  I believe so AGAIN!

coffee bonds

Funny how it is always easier to talk over a cup of coffee.... 

Chinese New Year Resolution

Hmm... since technically, it's a start of a new year (in the lunar calendar, that is)... I can still make resolutions (which I did not do last January First).

Ok, here it goes...

First, I would strive to think only of happy thoughts...  Only positivity here.... Goodbye to bad vibes....

Secondly, I will endeavor to keep my cool and stay calm.... No more decomposure (hehehehe)....

And, lastly, I will cherish the people dearest and truest to me... You know who you are, people... I've been neglecting and taking you for granted..  BUT NOT ANYMORE.... Thank you, beautiful people for believing in me and staying with me amidst the bi-polarness.... ;)

.....missing .....

coffee break!!!!

view

Thank You

I would just like to say thank you to two special persons in my work life right now.  You never fail to pick up the pieces of my heart (and brains!) whenever and wherever... ;) You're the BEST!!!!

serenity

If Only....

Sometimes..... sometimes, even if you're surrounded by a lot of smiling, happy, boisterous crowd, you still feel alone... you still feel the weight of the world on your shoulders, you still feel no one understands you, you still feel as if you don't feel anything at all....

I know I sound so negative.... But this is how I feel, well, sometimes.... Believe me, I try to be Miss Oh Bright and Sunny but I can't stop the clouds from coming.... If only.....

Sometimes....

There's this old song, I believe it was from the original soundtrack of the movie, Fame, that goes like this, "Sometimes, I wonder where I've been, Who I am and Where do I fit in..."  So, true!!!  I do sometimes feel like I don't fit in. In as much as I've tried, at the extent of altering some parts of myself, I still don't.  It's as simple as that, I DON'T.  I've been banging my head on the wall, thinking did i do something or is it just me?  What hurts the most, I guess, is that hearing those words from that one person who I thought could be a potential friend.  Black spider = bad person... not so funny "half-meant" (which you often say yourself, m'dear!) joke... SO YOU REALLY SEE ME AS A BAD PERSON...  ok... if that's how it goes... there it will go.... I'm not saying that I will turn BAD.... All I'm saying is that, ENOUGH ALREADY.... No more fitting in... it it's meant to be that way, then that will be the way I will go.... 

Irony

I honestly don't know how to react and what to react... The very thing that you SO VIOLENTLY CONFRONTED me with is the exact same thing you're doing right now AND THEN SOME.... All I can do now is to just shake my head and look at what you did... Maybe because I don't have the right to do it like you do... BUT.... Oh well, I'll just chalk it to LESSONS LEARNED and put a big red check beside it... THANK YOU VERY MUCH FOR SHOWING ME THE DIFFERENCE.... SO DAMNED IRONIC ISN'T IT?

what to do? what to do?

Ok... I am confused.... I am panicking... I am lost.... I have no idea what to do, what I should do, what I must do....

Should I just sit back and go with the flow?  Or should I try to do more?  But, there is nothing more left to do?!?   AHHHHHH!!!!!

Heaven help me, PLEASE!!!!!