coffee break!!!!

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Thank You

I would just like to say thank you to two special persons in my work life right now.  You never fail to pick up the pieces of my heart (and brains!) whenever and wherever... ;) You're the BEST!!!!

serenity

If Only....

Sometimes..... sometimes, even if you're surrounded by a lot of smiling, happy, boisterous crowd, you still feel alone... you still feel the weight of the world on your shoulders, you still feel no one understands you, you still feel as if you don't feel anything at all....

I know I sound so negative.... But this is how I feel, well, sometimes.... Believe me, I try to be Miss Oh Bright and Sunny but I can't stop the clouds from coming.... If only.....

Sometimes....

There's this old song, I believe it was from the original soundtrack of the movie, Fame, that goes like this, "Sometimes, I wonder where I've been, Who I am and Where do I fit in..."  So, true!!!  I do sometimes feel like I don't fit in. In as much as I've tried, at the extent of altering some parts of myself, I still don't.  It's as simple as that, I DON'T.  I've been banging my head on the wall, thinking did i do something or is it just me?  What hurts the most, I guess, is that hearing those words from that one person who I thought could be a potential friend.  Black spider = bad person... not so funny "half-meant" (which you often say yourself, m'dear!) joke... SO YOU REALLY SEE ME AS A BAD PERSON...  ok... if that's how it goes... there it will go.... I'm not saying that I will turn BAD.... All I'm saying is that, ENOUGH ALREADY.... No more fitting in... it it's meant to be that way, then that will be the way I will go.... 

Irony

I honestly don't know how to react and what to react... The very thing that you SO VIOLENTLY CONFRONTED me with is the exact same thing you're doing right now AND THEN SOME.... All I can do now is to just shake my head and look at what you did... Maybe because I don't have the right to do it like you do... BUT.... Oh well, I'll just chalk it to LESSONS LEARNED and put a big red check beside it... THANK YOU VERY MUCH FOR SHOWING ME THE DIFFERENCE.... SO DAMNED IRONIC ISN'T IT?

what to do? what to do?

Ok... I am confused.... I am panicking... I am lost.... I have no idea what to do, what I should do, what I must do....

Should I just sit back and go with the flow?  Or should I try to do more?  But, there is nothing more left to do?!?   AHHHHHH!!!!!

Heaven help me, PLEASE!!!!!