Whoa!!!!

Oh boy! Oh boy! And I actually believe that I have the authority on being paranoid!!!! Goodness!!!! I must say, I'm a bit shocked!!! There's a person more paranoid than I am!!!!! Unbelievable!!!!!

Just because she saw me talking with her immediate superior, she thought we were, how would you put, gossiping on her absence from work the other day. DUH!?!? I didn't even bother to ask why she wasn't around that day and, now, she really believed I'm interested?!? AGAIN, DUH?!?

Funny really how people think so much of only themselves!!!!!

But from what I know of her, she's not that bad of a person. Maybe she has been hearing things.... and, come to think of it, I really don't care because when she believed those lies, what's the point of maintaining a friendship. Pointless, useless, meaningless....

WHATEVER!!!!

I really try to be a good person... HONEST!!! but, it's so d*** frustrating because my sincerity was always misconstrued, misinterpreted, and mistaken to be another thing. Ok! So, I have this folly of putting my foot in my mouth... Hey! It's not as if I have the major stake on that. DO NAME ME A PERSON WHO SAYS ALL THE RIGHT THINGS EVERYTIME! Seriously, people, stop being hypocrites!!! You people can lambast others with such delicious glee and I can't even say anything negative at all!!! DUH!!! Worst of all, I can't even call a person, Ma'am?!? Because that person read it as me wanting to be called Ma'am in return?!? DUH!?! ARE YOU PEOPLE OUT OF YOUR PUNY MINDS?

I really try to chalk up all these things as your typical workplace intrigues. I guess, they really are but somehow your immature antics just irritate the hell out of me. I just don't get it why you people operate on envy with such gusto. There are times that I SO WANT TO CREATE AN INTRICATE WEB FOR YOU PEOPLE TO FALL but, don't worry, I WON'T STOOP TO YOUR DEGRADING LEVEL. I may have a short fuse of a temper but I wont' waste it on you. Gossip all you want. Insult all you want. Malign all you want. I may show cracks once in a while but I won't break down. So, when the time comes all of these things backfire on you, there will be a hint of smirk and muffled "Loser!"

Happy Easter

In about 90 minutes (give or take), we'll be celebrating Easter... Supposedly, we had finished our reflection and had taken a good stock of our lives spent... Weelll, I'm not exactly sure if I had done that the last couple of days... So what did I do?

Aside from non-stop sleeping (oh well, I did wake up and eat and took showers and stuff! hehehehe), I have been trying to figure out what I should to be start living... I mean, being 40 and all.. (ooops!)

I know I should change a lot of things in my life, namely my at-times uncontrollable temper which had proven to be incredibly troublesome but what I cannot figure out is to how start the change. I know I am soiunding like a broken record already but it seems like there's always a wall (high and thick) which hinders me from actually getting to where I want to be. Now I am sounding like a cheesy love song!

What I am so sure of is that it's a lot, lot easier to tell people how to go about their lives that me actually living my life.

muffled thoughts #16

This was definitely an exhausting day, but, somehow, I felt really good. Why? Because, I actually (hehehe) believed that I managed to accomplish something! HA!

eeeeewwwwww!!!!!!

From what I know of myself, I'm not the showy, touchy and feely type of a person. As much as possible, I would rather stay in a corner (preferably abandoned) and study the comings and goings of the people around me especially when they're of the unfamiliar kind. I'm not saying that after more three years, I still don't feel comfortable with this group of people. It's just that I had erected a defensive shield (similar to what protected camp big falcon from the never-ending bozanian invasions!) SO high that sometimes, I, myself, am in a complete loss as to how to get over it.

Going back, I'm not trying to get into the good graces of anybody (well, technically, no, because that wasn't my intention although I'm sure others would just love to think otherwise!). All I'm doing is to fulfill the obligations and duties (be it of any kind) that is required of me. I have to admit though that there (A LOT OF) times these actions make me wanna go EEEEEWWWWWW! Still, I have to do what I must do because that is how I was brought up.

When Patience is no longer a virtue

HAH!!!!! Don't get me wrong! I am very much aware that I'm in the service-oriented environment. I must always bear in my mind that patience is virtue when it comes to dealing with unreasonable, difficult, and they-believe-to-be-gods clients. But, sometimes, these so-called superior beings need to be pulled down from their self-erected pedestal and give them a tongue-lashing they WILL NEVER FORGET AS LONG AS THEY LIVE!

and they live selfishly ever after....

Once upon a time, there were a boy and a girl who were instant friends the moment they met. They became close to the point that people around them swore a romance was brewing. But, something went wrong... Maybe it was a case of proximity breeds contempt or maybe it was a clash of similar personality or maybe, whatever!

Going back to the story, the once best of friends became the worst of enemies... every word uttered and action taken were thoroughly scrutinized and analyzed for any malicious intent which I honestly believe, most of time, were figments of their over-excitable imagination.

Then this incident happened. The girl committed a careless mistake which the boy had to correct. Now, they're in a (shall i say, silly) dilemma... They both wanted the easy way out not for themselves (separately, of course!) and not for the common good. I'm not sure when this misundertanding (I am trying to be nice, after all) will end but, one thing is crystal clear, THEY'RE BOTH SELFISH!!!!

OMG!!!!

I think I am slowly going out of my mind.....

I just don't get how some of the people around me think... If I react to something, I became an arrogant fool, BUT, if I keep my opinions to myself, I'm branded an unfeeling jerk... OMG!!! Where in the world should I turn to?!?

Is it really just ME?!? Did I really change that much? for the bad and worst?!?

But, then again, if they're really true to me, instead of giving me the cold shoulder (whenever they feel like it!), why don't they simply be honest to me?!? Don't I even deserve that much (or less)?!?

I'm so tired of trying to adapt, adjust and give in to their fickle whims and unreasonable tantrums. Don't get me wrong, I'm liable to transform myself but I try to follow something my parents taught me, if I'm about to say something negative, better keep it to myself because there is absolutely no way I can take back spoken words, whether it's unintentional or otherwise.

AAAHHHH!!!!!!!!!!! If only it's morally acdeptable for me to scream BLOODY MURDER to these people!!!!!!