OMG!!!!

I think I am slowly going out of my mind.....

I just don't get how some of the people around me think... If I react to something, I became an arrogant fool, BUT, if I keep my opinions to myself, I'm branded an unfeeling jerk... OMG!!! Where in the world should I turn to?!?

Is it really just ME?!? Did I really change that much? for the bad and worst?!?

But, then again, if they're really true to me, instead of giving me the cold shoulder (whenever they feel like it!), why don't they simply be honest to me?!? Don't I even deserve that much (or less)?!?

I'm so tired of trying to adapt, adjust and give in to their fickle whims and unreasonable tantrums. Don't get me wrong, I'm liable to transform myself but I try to follow something my parents taught me, if I'm about to say something negative, better keep it to myself because there is absolutely no way I can take back spoken words, whether it's unintentional or otherwise.

AAAHHHH!!!!!!!!!!! If only it's morally acdeptable for me to scream BLOODY MURDER to these people!!!!!!

Leaving Yesterday Behind

During the 1980's, there was a song that really fits the current situation of a person who's close to me....

"So now I'm leavin' yesterday behind
And fin'lly I've made up my mind
So let the mem'ries stay away
And think about today
I'm leavin' yesterday behind
'Cause now I'll try to live my life once more
The way I did before"

I'm sure it wasn't easy for him to finally make THE decision but I do really commend him for taking the first step. His life wasn't easy nor as rosy as what others would like to believe. Living alone in the other side of world from your family and betrayed by the one person he'd believed he would spend the rest of his life with weren't exactly what we would hope to find along the greener pastures.

Whatever plans he might still be forming for the future, I want to reassure him that there are a lot of people who truly care for him and would always stick by his side no matter what.

Generation Gap

Don't get me wrong, I'm not referring to the so-called generation gap between parents and children... I'm talking about the gap between generations, well, my generation and the now generation, to be exact.

Like in the work environment, people before were more helpful and sincere, nowadays, more of the co-workers are more concerned on what they will gain from helping you, etc.

Bad, Bad Girl

I am sorry.

I really don't know what came over me today.... okay... I think I have an inkling why I did what I did. In a way, I was conducting my own test on how the people around me would react and if I can actually foresee how they would react. Well, it was sort of successful because they reacted how I saw them did in my mind. But I felt bad. I felt so bad for "manipulating" them. It was bad, bad, bad of me.

Random Thoughts

I'm not sure how this started.... but I think that there is something wrong with me....

Maybe, I did change as some people would say... or maybe, I'm just being true to myself... I really don't know....

coffee

it's a common knowledge or should i say belief that coffee, well, actually, it's the caffeine, serves as an effective stimulant. Well, maybe I'm already immune to it, but i always yawn (as in EVERYTIME) after i drink BLACK coffee.

slow

I'm not sure if it's because this is the first day back to work after a long vacation, or is it because I didn't get my morning fix or is it because its me?

through the years....

She was one of my first friend in the new school that I transferred to. I'm not sure anymore how we "clicked" but it did. Although I was reassigned to another section and met a few good friends, we managed to sustain the friendship (it would've a lot of work on her part though because I tend to get lost in space...hehehehe)

We really haven't able to maintain a regular for of communication but, whenever we have the chance to get together, it was like we're high school freshmen all over again. And I realized one thing (it was kindah an enlightenment thing for me, so please humor me on this...), she was of the two persons in the entire world whom I can speak freely. I mean, freely, as in no care for any possible case of libel and slander, much more of the shame and scandal stuff! hehehehehehe

It was really a good way to end the year (for me) by re-connecting with an old friend who will always be one of my best friend.