i need to spread my wings
i must learn how to fly
i'm not getting any younger
i can't just let life pass me by
time went and left me behind
i lost so much without asking why
i thought i could handle life
but now all i want to do is cry
maybe it's not too late to start over
maybe i can still dream and try
maybe there's still something for me
maybe i can still wipe my tears dry
Friday, August 26, 2005
Thursday, August 25, 2005
muddled thoughts #09
I never wanted to be in this situation. I'm not good at this. I tend to literally grasp the first thing I can hold on and rue my action later.
Decision-making has been one of my stronger points. I usually let my heart rule my head which, of course, more often than not result to dire consequences I can't possibly imagine.
Tomorrow is THE day. I have to make THAT decision. In as much as I want to avoid it, I must. A sign of independence? Partly, I guess. A sigh of rebellion? Probably.
Anyway, whatever is the motivation I might have, I REALLY hope and pray that it would be a step to a better and brighter future for me.
Decision-making has been one of my stronger points. I usually let my heart rule my head which, of course, more often than not result to dire consequences I can't possibly imagine.
Tomorrow is THE day. I have to make THAT decision. In as much as I want to avoid it, I must. A sign of independence? Partly, I guess. A sigh of rebellion? Probably.
Anyway, whatever is the motivation I might have, I REALLY hope and pray that it would be a step to a better and brighter future for me.
Sunday, August 21, 2005
muddled thoughts#08
I now find myself standing again in yet another crossroad. Should I turn left or right? Should I dare go forward or backward? Should I just stay put? For a person whose deepest fear is change, deciding which direction to take is giving me migraine, sleepless nights, and dyspepsia!!!!!
I am now at the point in my life where I want to take charge. No more charging to experience nor mere acceptance of what life hands over to me. I want to become the best person I can possibly and want to be.
But, still, I am hindered with a lot of obstacles that I can't seem to avoid. Should I just throw caution to the wind? Should I just turn a blind eye? Should I just concentrate on myself?
I have until Thursday to make my decision. This is not going to be easy. Hopefully, I can make the right decision and will be able to face the consequences that go with it.
I am now at the point in my life where I want to take charge. No more charging to experience nor mere acceptance of what life hands over to me. I want to become the best person I can possibly and want to be.
But, still, I am hindered with a lot of obstacles that I can't seem to avoid. Should I just throw caution to the wind? Should I just turn a blind eye? Should I just concentrate on myself?
I have until Thursday to make my decision. This is not going to be easy. Hopefully, I can make the right decision and will be able to face the consequences that go with it.
Saturday, August 20, 2005
muffled thoughts #11
I can no longer recall how many times I had watched Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory as a kid (oh yeah, it's been ages already! hehehe) nor I can even remember the scenes accurately. But, it was a delicious treat for me then to watch Gene Wilder play the Candyman and regale Charlie with the great things one can achieve using just pure imagination.
Guess, it goes without saying the childlike thrill I got when I read that Tim Burton was going to recreate this Roald Dahl classic into a movie. Plus, Johnny Depp is going to be Willy Wonka!
Even though the urge to watch the first version is almost irressistible, still, I was able to control the urge. And it's a also a good thing t hat the book was unbelievably priced. Thus, I was able to watch Charlie and the Chocolate Factory with, hopefully, an untainted mind.
Although it is based on a children's book, the movie appealed more to the adult intentionally hiding within my person than the child I'm trying to repress (hehehehe). I left the move house actually in a pensive mood. There's more to the chocolate in this movie than one expected it to be.
Maybe I'm biased (me being a Johnny Depp fan since 21 Jumpstreet and all), but this is a film directed by Tim Burton. There's no way that this movie would be all cheery and fun. It's dark in a lot of ways and you need to carefully read between the lines. Until now, I'm still at a loss whether everything was pure coincidental or was geniously planned to find Willy Wonka's rightful heir.
Lastly, I vehemently disagree with the idea that Johnny Depp patterned his Willy Wonka to Michael Jackson. Duh!?! Just because of their skin color? WHATEVER....
Guess, it goes without saying the childlike thrill I got when I read that Tim Burton was going to recreate this Roald Dahl classic into a movie. Plus, Johnny Depp is going to be Willy Wonka!
Even though the urge to watch the first version is almost irressistible, still, I was able to control the urge. And it's a also a good thing t hat the book was unbelievably priced. Thus, I was able to watch Charlie and the Chocolate Factory with, hopefully, an untainted mind.
Although it is based on a children's book, the movie appealed more to the adult intentionally hiding within my person than the child I'm trying to repress (hehehehe). I left the move house actually in a pensive mood. There's more to the chocolate in this movie than one expected it to be.
Maybe I'm biased (me being a Johnny Depp fan since 21 Jumpstreet and all), but this is a film directed by Tim Burton. There's no way that this movie would be all cheery and fun. It's dark in a lot of ways and you need to carefully read between the lines. Until now, I'm still at a loss whether everything was pure coincidental or was geniously planned to find Willy Wonka's rightful heir.
Lastly, I vehemently disagree with the idea that Johnny Depp patterned his Willy Wonka to Michael Jackson. Duh!?! Just because of their skin color? WHATEVER....
Monday, August 15, 2005
sigh
i didn't see it coming
that's why it hurts more
guess i was too trusting
you stabbed me to the core
i believed i found a friend
but it was a mistake all along
i was merely a mean for your end
it's too late to realize i was wrong
i've been banging my head on the wall
you took me for a ride
then you left me holding the ball
with all the jeers, insults and chides
i'm not expecting an apology
i can only sigh now when i think of you
i doubt if forgiveness will come easy
although everybody will definitely pay his due
that's why it hurts more
guess i was too trusting
you stabbed me to the core
i believed i found a friend
but it was a mistake all along
i was merely a mean for your end
it's too late to realize i was wrong
i've been banging my head on the wall
you took me for a ride
then you left me holding the ball
with all the jeers, insults and chides
i'm not expecting an apology
i can only sigh now when i think of you
i doubt if forgiveness will come easy
although everybody will definitely pay his due
Tuesday, July 05, 2005
muffled thoughts #10
Caution: I found this draft when I was rummaging through my drawer for a pen. This was written during those dark times that had long since past (hopefully! hehehehe) and was supposed to be posted in the proper site. Somehow, I got sidetracked. Anyway, since this is my blog and this is one of my muffled thoughts.... I guess, one can say, I'm exorcising a ghost... here goes....
*****
Lest I be accused again of something I don't normally do unless provoked, I decided to post some clarifications in this site, with your indulgence, of course.
It has come to my attention that I had supposed to make "away" a person, whom I will refer to as "A". Maybe "A" can post it here or tell me directly as to how I made "away" him/her because, no matter how hard I bang my head on the wall, I can't dig up any form of recollection of that "away". On the other hand, what I remembered vividly was a healthy discussion on something best not mentioned in public unless "A" gives me the go-signal to do so. It's unfortunate that an innocent observation can elicit such negative reactions, and to think we are still communing in a free world.
After the discussion, I have kept my peace believing that since everything has been said, the matter was, thus, already resolved and we'll be moving on to more important things. It is disheartening to know that people are talking behind your back without any interest whatsoever in hearing the other side of the story. I guess, that's what I get for not keeping my mouth shut.
As for my questioning the 1,000 pesos that singles are required to pay, all I'm asking for is a plausible explanation, no more, no less. Maybe if anybody (I had to censor a name out to keep the peace! hehehehehe) can complete the sentence fast enough for me to enjoy a mug of coffee, I will gladly pay it and I will have nothing in my mind but to eagerly re-bond with old friends and reminisce high school days.
Lastly, I would like to thank the people concerned for their time, effort, and, not to forget, precious load in organizing the get-together. I believe I had mentioned to "A" that I can never belittle nor discount the organizers' passion and enthusiasm in bringing us together.
Thank You.
*****
*****
Lest I be accused again of something I don't normally do unless provoked, I decided to post some clarifications in this site, with your indulgence, of course.
It has come to my attention that I had supposed to make "away" a person, whom I will refer to as "A". Maybe "A" can post it here or tell me directly as to how I made "away" him/her because, no matter how hard I bang my head on the wall, I can't dig up any form of recollection of that "away". On the other hand, what I remembered vividly was a healthy discussion on something best not mentioned in public unless "A" gives me the go-signal to do so. It's unfortunate that an innocent observation can elicit such negative reactions, and to think we are still communing in a free world.
After the discussion, I have kept my peace believing that since everything has been said, the matter was, thus, already resolved and we'll be moving on to more important things. It is disheartening to know that people are talking behind your back without any interest whatsoever in hearing the other side of the story. I guess, that's what I get for not keeping my mouth shut.
As for my questioning the 1,000 pesos that singles are required to pay, all I'm asking for is a plausible explanation, no more, no less. Maybe if anybody (I had to censor a name out to keep the peace! hehehehehe) can complete the sentence fast enough for me to enjoy a mug of coffee, I will gladly pay it and I will have nothing in my mind but to eagerly re-bond with old friends and reminisce high school days.
Lastly, I would like to thank the people concerned for their time, effort, and, not to forget, precious load in organizing the get-together. I believe I had mentioned to "A" that I can never belittle nor discount the organizers' passion and enthusiasm in bringing us together.
Thank You.
*****
Sunday, July 03, 2005
sorry
it shouldn't be that hard
saying you're sorry
but when pride enters the picture
it becomes a different story
nobody's perfect
that's why we all understand
we're not supposed to commit mistakes
but we're only human
on the second thought,
should we always justify all our actions?
maybe we could be responsible instead
and accept the retribution?
apology has always been an act of courage
as we were taught in our youth
but when it's merely a coward's move
it has became a distorted view of the truth
saying you're sorry
but when pride enters the picture
it becomes a different story
nobody's perfect
that's why we all understand
we're not supposed to commit mistakes
but we're only human
on the second thought,
should we always justify all our actions?
maybe we could be responsible instead
and accept the retribution?
apology has always been an act of courage
as we were taught in our youth
but when it's merely a coward's move
it has became a distorted view of the truth
Saturday, July 02, 2005
Muffled Thoughts: 6 months pa raw…..
After PGMA admitted she had a lapse of judgment by calling up a Comelec official to check up on her votes, one of her so-called advisers made an appeal to the Filipino people to give her another 6 months to prove her capability to lead. Halleur!!!!! At the risk of sounding unladylike, my initial reaction was "6 months, my A**!" She already had 3 years after the former President Joseph Estrada was driven out of office and one year out of the 6-year term she had supposedly won in the 2004 National Election. Is she saying that she wasn’t able to accomplish anything in those last 4 years?
My golly gee!!!!! We’re talking 4 years here! That’s already one US Presidential term! Come to think of it, what did she do for the Filipino people during those four years? Naayos ba niya ang naghihikahos na buhay ng mga pangkaraniwang tao? Nakaramdam ba ang mga tao ng kahit kaunting pag-unlad ng kanilang kabuhayan? Ewan ko sa iba, pero wala akong naramdamang kahit na anumang uri ng pagbabago maliban sa patuloy na pagbagsak ng ekonomiya.
Hindi ko naman isinasantabi ang aral ng Diyos na "God help those who help themselves." Totoo yun. Walang magandang mangyayari sa ating buhay kung hindi tayo ang kikilos. Kailangang tayo na mismo ang gumawa ng paraan. Pero, bilang pinuno, sa kaniyang mga balikat nakaatang ang mabigat na responsibilidad na akayin ang mga mamamayan tungo sa kaunlaran.
Huwag na nating pag-usapan kung may pandarayag nangyari sa nakaraang halalan dahil wala namang aamin. But, definitely, there’s no denying the growing doubt as to the integrity of PGMA. She has, so far, done anything to make the people believe otherwise.
When the news of the wiretapped tapes came out, instead of getting sensible replies from the administration, the people got false pronouncements, silly threats, illogical statements and bungled attempts of cover-ups. And, after 22 days of arrogant silence, here she is pitifully beseeching and pleading for the people’s forgiveness. She just had a lapse of judgment, for crying out loud. Lapse of judgment? If I remembered my grade school English lessons, you should add "s" to a word when its an event that happened more than once or its number is more than one. She called the Comelec official more than ten times as recorded in those wiretapped tapes! Baka she meant she had lapseS of judgment? Once is negligible, twice might be overlooked, thrice could be forgivable, but more than that? Sakit na yan!
I wouldn’t even try to figure out why she had to check her votes when the counting was supposedly over. Legally, she can certainly avoid prosecution, but, morally, she won’t be able to escape public persecution. A public office, more than anything else, will work effectively if it enjoyed the trust of it’s constituents. Once the element of trust is lost, the mandate is already considered a mockery.
Personally, I don’t believe in extra-legal means, e.g. people power. One can never correct a mistake by committing another mistake. Otherwise, we’ll all be trapped in a vicious cycle where we’ll all be sucked into eternal damnation of our own making.
I won’t even dare advise her dahil hindi ko abot ang level nya. Aral siya sa US of A, hindi ba? Samantalang, ako ay hamak na Bachelor of Arts graduate lang dito sa ating naghihirap na bayan. Pero may mga pagkakataong katulad ngayon na dapat niyang mas bigyan ng kaukulang pansin ang mga hinaing ng kaniyang konsensiya. Kung tunay siyang makabayan, hindi sapat ang sakripisyo ng kaniyang kabiyak na manatili sa ibang bayan o ang pagpapa-alis na ilang miyembro ng kaniyang gabinete. Kung tunay siyang makabayan, magiging mas mahalaga sa kaniya ang kapakanan ng bayan kaysa personal interest.
Mabilis ang magpatawad pero hindi ang paglimot. May katapat na parusa ayon sa batas ng tao at ng Diyos ang bawat na kasalanan.
Mabilis magbigay ng isa pang pagkakataon pero dapat munang aminin ng bukal sa puso at pagbayaran ang kasalanan.
"I’m Sorry….." Ganoon na lang ba yun?
"6 months pa raw….." Bakit pa?
My golly gee!!!!! We’re talking 4 years here! That’s already one US Presidential term! Come to think of it, what did she do for the Filipino people during those four years? Naayos ba niya ang naghihikahos na buhay ng mga pangkaraniwang tao? Nakaramdam ba ang mga tao ng kahit kaunting pag-unlad ng kanilang kabuhayan? Ewan ko sa iba, pero wala akong naramdamang kahit na anumang uri ng pagbabago maliban sa patuloy na pagbagsak ng ekonomiya.
Hindi ko naman isinasantabi ang aral ng Diyos na "God help those who help themselves." Totoo yun. Walang magandang mangyayari sa ating buhay kung hindi tayo ang kikilos. Kailangang tayo na mismo ang gumawa ng paraan. Pero, bilang pinuno, sa kaniyang mga balikat nakaatang ang mabigat na responsibilidad na akayin ang mga mamamayan tungo sa kaunlaran.
Huwag na nating pag-usapan kung may pandarayag nangyari sa nakaraang halalan dahil wala namang aamin. But, definitely, there’s no denying the growing doubt as to the integrity of PGMA. She has, so far, done anything to make the people believe otherwise.
When the news of the wiretapped tapes came out, instead of getting sensible replies from the administration, the people got false pronouncements, silly threats, illogical statements and bungled attempts of cover-ups. And, after 22 days of arrogant silence, here she is pitifully beseeching and pleading for the people’s forgiveness. She just had a lapse of judgment, for crying out loud. Lapse of judgment? If I remembered my grade school English lessons, you should add "s" to a word when its an event that happened more than once or its number is more than one. She called the Comelec official more than ten times as recorded in those wiretapped tapes! Baka she meant she had lapseS of judgment? Once is negligible, twice might be overlooked, thrice could be forgivable, but more than that? Sakit na yan!
I wouldn’t even try to figure out why she had to check her votes when the counting was supposedly over. Legally, she can certainly avoid prosecution, but, morally, she won’t be able to escape public persecution. A public office, more than anything else, will work effectively if it enjoyed the trust of it’s constituents. Once the element of trust is lost, the mandate is already considered a mockery.
Personally, I don’t believe in extra-legal means, e.g. people power. One can never correct a mistake by committing another mistake. Otherwise, we’ll all be trapped in a vicious cycle where we’ll all be sucked into eternal damnation of our own making.
I won’t even dare advise her dahil hindi ko abot ang level nya. Aral siya sa US of A, hindi ba? Samantalang, ako ay hamak na Bachelor of Arts graduate lang dito sa ating naghihirap na bayan. Pero may mga pagkakataong katulad ngayon na dapat niyang mas bigyan ng kaukulang pansin ang mga hinaing ng kaniyang konsensiya. Kung tunay siyang makabayan, hindi sapat ang sakripisyo ng kaniyang kabiyak na manatili sa ibang bayan o ang pagpapa-alis na ilang miyembro ng kaniyang gabinete. Kung tunay siyang makabayan, magiging mas mahalaga sa kaniya ang kapakanan ng bayan kaysa personal interest.
Mabilis ang magpatawad pero hindi ang paglimot. May katapat na parusa ayon sa batas ng tao at ng Diyos ang bawat na kasalanan.
Mabilis magbigay ng isa pang pagkakataon pero dapat munang aminin ng bukal sa puso at pagbayaran ang kasalanan.
"I’m Sorry….." Ganoon na lang ba yun?
"6 months pa raw….." Bakit pa?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)