Last Song Syndrome #02

Inside Your Heaven
www.fatlyrics.com/show/artist/Carrie_Underwood


I’ve been down
Now I’m blessed
I felt a revelation comin’ around
I guess it’s right
It’s so amazing
Everytime I see you, I’m alive
You’re all I’ve got
You lift me up
The sun and the moonlight
All my dreams are in your eyes

I wanna be inside your heaven
Take me to the place you cry from
Where the storm blows you away
I wanna be the one to hold you
Every bit of air you’re breathing in
A soothing wind
I wanna be inside your heaven

When minutes turn to days and years
If mountains form I’ll still be here
Holding you until the day I die

I wanna be inside your heaven
Take me to the place you cry from
Where the storm blows you away
I wanna be inside your heaven
Take me to the place you cry from
Where the storm blows you away
I wanna be the one to hold you
Every bit of air you’re breathing in
A soothing wind
I wanna be inside your heaven

Oh yes I do
I wanna be inside your heaven

muddled thoughts #06

Whether it was intentional or otherwise, we were fed with generous helpings of the notion that someday our Mr. Right will come along and we will live happily ever after. It's the most romantic thought, and there's absolutely no doubt about it, but is it true? I mean, is there, for a fact, a real Mr. Right out there for every female person in this world? For that matter, how would we know Mr. Right from all the men we've met then, have met and will meet? And, most especially, what makes a man Mr. Right?

At the risk of sounding like a griping old maid (Ha! Ha! Ha!), is every person pre-destined to meet his/her match? Or is it possible that there are some percentage of humanity fated to enjoy singlehood instead?

muddled thoughts #05

if given the chance, would you choose the man who you love with all your heart or would you choose the man who simply loves you more?

silver lining

i can see the sun shyly peeking
as the angels separate the clouds.
is this the fabled silver lining?
can i now sing my wishes aloud?

i'm now starting to see all things bright
and turn towards the positive side of life.
maybe now i can make the wrongs right
and finally surrender the emotional knife.

the rains have stopped pouring
and so are the tears in my heart.
i know this is my new beginning
even though i have been torn apart.

i am praying for a chance
to live my life anew.
possibly, i can even do a little dance
to celebrate my dreams coming true.

Updates on My To-Do List for 2005

The first half of the 2005 is almost over, let's see how did I do so far....

1. finish reading A Tale of Two Cities (after, would you believe, 14 years?!? I never went past the line "....these are the best of times, these are the worst of times..."
~ How can I possibly finish this book when I can't find my copy? I really hope one of these days (in the very near future!) I can actually look for it, find it, read it and finish it.

2. dye my hair (scary thought! hehehehehe)
~ I did try the henna treatment and that's the most adventurous thing I can afford to be when it comes to my hair. Like I keep on saying, I'm really scared of change and as trivial as it may sound, I'm actually afraid. Guess, I'll just have to give up on the blue streak thingy.

3. watch the Lord of the Rings trilogy (so I can join the rest of the world? hehehehe)
~Oh boy! Another must-do that I haven't started doing anything at all. My brother even got me the book to kindah whet my interest but, unfortunately, to no avail. I just couldn't muster the enthusiasm to join Frodo's perilous journey.

4. remember to always keep my mouth shut (HARDY-HAR-HAR!)
~ Oh Lord!(oops! My bad! It just kindah got out, ok?) This is hard, keeping my mouth shut, especially when I'm with my friends. But, I AM TRYING....

5. go to a spa (can I go now? please...... )
~ Top on my wish list!!!!!

6. post more of my muddled and not-so-muddled thoughts (Oh no! I'm not that super-duper-uber stressed out! hahahaha)
~ This I would be more than willing to do. There are times though I run out of words, or, worse, my thoughts run out on me! hahahahahaha

7. write the ending of my fanfic (so I can live peacefully ever after! hahahaha)
~ Oh Yeah! I added two chapters!!!!! Now, if only I can get to the ending.... hmmm.....

8. always be thankful and be aware of my blessings (unfortunately, most of them I don't deserve...... )
~ I'll never get tired of saying "Thank You"! Wait, I haven't finished my list....

9. stop focusing on negative thoughts (so I can do my visualization exercises effectively? hmmmmm..... )
~ Negative thoughts and me.... hmmmm.... we kindah go well together.... he he he

10. clean my room (UGH!)
~ What's the difference between my room then and now? Is there? HA HA HA HA

11. let go (Life is Short)
~ Amen to that!

12. Time to try the South Bitch, I mean Beach, diet (HAHAHAHAHA)
~ South Beath What?!? HA HA HA

muffled thoughts #08

Are you familiar with this song sang by the Bangles?

"It's six o'clock already
and I'm just in the middle of a dream.
I was kissing Valentino
in a crystal blue Italian stream.
But I can't be late
or I guess I won't get paid.
These are the days
when you wish your bed is already made.

It's just another manic monday
Wish it was sunday
'Coz that's my fun day
My I-don't-have-to-run day..."

*****
Oh yeah, mondays and me, we just don't go well together. There's something about this day that doesn't sit well with my disposition. Is it psychological? Maybe..... Childhood trauma? Not that I can recall any...YET... Fear? Whatever.....

Job Hunting

It's been more than a decade since I went through the usual rounds of written and oral examinations normally required for a job seeker to take. Amazingly, the process is still the same and I honestly believe even the test questions are the very ones I took way back then. I'm sure, somehow, there are changes but the only thing glaringly obvious to me is ME.

I can't actually put into words the emotions going through me as I see these fresh graduates excitedly comparing notes, what schools they're from, what companies they've applied to, etc. Maybe, I have turned cynical with time and, yes, experience, but hearing their innocent chatter makes me realize that, yes, I still have some semblance of idealistic dreams left. I don't know what will happen next or will I ever be given another chance to prove something to myself in spite of the age factor, but this experience instill a glimmer of hope within me.

Maybe I can turn things around..... soon....

it's not easy

it's not easy to say goodbye
when i'm feeling this way
it's hard not to cry
when i can't freely say

how can i live my life
without you by my side
is it possible to even try
without you as my guide

it's not easy to let you go
when you own my heart
it's hard not to show
when you've torn me apart

how can i go on living
now that i had lost my soul
will i see a silver lining
or will i continue to fall